i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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