Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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