Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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