did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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