It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
