Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
