Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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