WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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