The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
