omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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