i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
