I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
