The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
