So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
