I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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