Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize