im about as happy as oj after his trial
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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