the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize