I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
