and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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