Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
