Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
