I think i peed on brittanys purse
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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