i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
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It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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