Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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