he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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