I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
