omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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