Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
