Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize