im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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