How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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