I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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