I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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