Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Randomize
