who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
