It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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