So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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