that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
