Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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