don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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