Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's official drugs can't kill me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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