"it" just moved
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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