There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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