You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
