i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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