i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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