I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
