So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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