last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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