Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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