just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hippo gnu deer
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
