when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
