I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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