I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
