So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
