Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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