But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
