you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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