I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
